Often times, I find it hard to express feelings. I can be having the best day of my life, and my friend can be having the worst. It goes either direction.
I can be so excited to tell everyone about something AWESOME that has happened to me, and the first person I see is crying. They can tell I'm excited, but I need to be there for them.
This life isn't about me.
It's easier to remember my good news an hour later and pick up my happy self than bring someone else down. However, this ball can be thrown the opposite way. Everyone can tell your day has been crappy and they never bother to say anything. We get so caught up in our own lives, that it's hard to remember how to act.
Happiness is one of those things that you have to think about two ways. Some things can make you happy in the "here and now," but possibly not the future, and somethings are just plain happy all the time. I find myself struggling with this. Yesterday I even told Grant "I wish I wasn't so happy." It just makes things more complicated. I know I'll have a stressful day. I'm not sure things will work out. I'm not sure if I should keep current happiness for fear of it not being future happiness..
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
things I miss
o 
1. My Pocahontas alarm. It belted "Colors of the wind," every morning until my 2nd semester of college.
2. Being able to spend equal time with each of my parents on weekends.
3. My "Dodge DIENASTY"
4. Late night swimming parties.
5. Being able to eat 5 pounds of gummy bears without needing to throw up.
6. Laying out my clothes the night before, and sometimes being able to sleep in them if it were an early morning.
7. Days with Grandma Helen. Going to garage sales and EVERY store in town to find the best deals.
8. Life before facebook, email, phones.
9. Finding letters in newspapers and circling them.
10. Having your mom pick your friends, and forcing you to be nice to everyone, even if they were really mean.
1. My Pocahontas alarm. It belted "Colors of the wind," every morning until my 2nd semester of college.
2. Being able to spend equal time with each of my parents on weekends.
3. My "Dodge DIENASTY"
4. Late night swimming parties.
5. Being able to eat 5 pounds of gummy bears without needing to throw up.
6. Laying out my clothes the night before, and sometimes being able to sleep in them if it were an early morning.
7. Days with Grandma Helen. Going to garage sales and EVERY store in town to find the best deals.
8. Life before facebook, email, phones.
9. Finding letters in newspapers and circling them.
10. Having your mom pick your friends, and forcing you to be nice to everyone, even if they were really mean.
making and breaking a day
Making:
1. Getting out of bed and having time to prepare for the day.
2. Kids. Anytime. Today, we had Mini-Olympics. It was 300 (or more) pre-schoolers running around and playing games. It was great. Multiple times small children were too excited to contain themselves.
3. Getting enough done during the day to have a free night.
4. Seeing people being supportive of others choices.
5. Being able to walk and talk with friends that NEED catching up.
6. Teaching a lesson that goes really well.
Breaking:
1. People being judgmental. As a Christian, it's not our place to give others judgment. This includes judging people about being judgmental.. ha!
2. Following up on number one, it breaks my heart to see people talking about how the Bible never changes. If everything was taken WORD FOR WORD from the Bible, we would have slaves. We changed our out-look on slavery, most of us have learned to reason with divorce yet we still only accept gays. We accept them, but most people accept them with the hope of bringing them to church and hoping to change them.
3. Teachers telling kids that they can't do something, without even letting them try.
1. Getting out of bed and having time to prepare for the day.
2. Kids. Anytime. Today, we had Mini-Olympics. It was 300 (or more) pre-schoolers running around and playing games. It was great. Multiple times small children were too excited to contain themselves.
3. Getting enough done during the day to have a free night.
4. Seeing people being supportive of others choices.
5. Being able to walk and talk with friends that NEED catching up.
6. Teaching a lesson that goes really well.
Breaking:
1. People being judgmental. As a Christian, it's not our place to give others judgment. This includes judging people about being judgmental.. ha!
2. Following up on number one, it breaks my heart to see people talking about how the Bible never changes. If everything was taken WORD FOR WORD from the Bible, we would have slaves. We changed our out-look on slavery, most of us have learned to reason with divorce yet we still only accept gays. We accept them, but most people accept them with the hope of bringing them to church and hoping to change them.
3. Teachers telling kids that they can't do something, without even letting them try.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Niger
In August I will be traveling to Niger to serve as a teacher for Tom Johnsons family. I have began the fund-raising process, and hope to mail out my first set of letters this week. The funds needed are just under $6,500. This cost includes air-fare, living expenses, insurance and all other costs with traveling over seas. I will be returning to the US around Christmas time to student teach.
This is only a brief description, and I would love to tell everyone more in-depth about my decision and opportunities while in Niger.
I know that many people whom I do not have direct contact with read my blog. If you are seeking a way to help, email kinkadea1@central.edu or go to www.rca.org/volunteersupport.
This is only a brief description, and I would love to tell everyone more in-depth about my decision and opportunities while in Niger.
I know that many people whom I do not have direct contact with read my blog. If you are seeking a way to help, email kinkadea1@central.edu or go to www.rca.org/volunteersupport.
The little drop down menu will say Ashley Kinkade and from there you can do everything online.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
John Piper and the Prosperity Gospel
I was sent this link while talking to a person very fond in my life. We were talking about all of the work missionary families can do, and how people often find those as the blessings rather than finding blessings in their own lives.
Haiti, the condensed version
More pictures to follow :D1. Dani and I on the way to Pignon.
2. My hair, after having braids in for a week
3. Emily and I showing everyone the best way to keep your corn rows.
4. Ben Palmer and I (I'll get team photos later?)
5. Jutizana (spelling?) and I on the first day.
Without much time to process, I shall share what I learned during my week in Haiti.
1. Spiritual Gifts
Everyone is blessed with different gifts that are used to benefit others. Passions are slightly different than spiritual gifts. Personally, I love children. I want to work with children in a career someday. However, I'm blessed with the ability to love and communicate with people. People of all ages. I was able to love and bless people outside of the United Christians International (UCI) base.
2. Husbands/Dating.
Conversation during English class:
Milan: "You have boyfriend"
Me: "Yes."
Milan: "You love your boyfriend?"
Me: "not yet?"
Milan: "why he your boyfriend then?"
(come on, it's been a month)
In Haiti, there seems to be a lack of choosing who you date. And it may be a wonderful idea. I mean, you learn to love someone as opposed to finding every flaw and ditching them to the street as Americans often do.
As for my Dating scene in Haiti.... Here are the typical comments I heard from 5 males..
"I like a woman who work hard and eat a lot. I like a you."
"I want to be your lover."
"I love avocado, too"
"I want to marry you. I never meet you before." (he asked me to marry him over the summer)
"I think you be happy marry Haitian man"
"I love Jesus Christ, I love you."
Usually in Haiti, genders stick together. Girls are shy and more difficult to approach. Males like to practice English, and I want to practice Creole.. but I always got stuck in awkward moments.
3. Relationships- I went into this trip thinking it would be "2nd reformed church plus two college students."
People change and grow apart.
People who have only known you for a week can make you laugh so hard you make the entire plane stare at you.
Friends need to be maintained outside of text messages and facebook.
People who you thought treated you as an outsider, can make your trip worthwhile.
4. Pouring Cement
Shoveling cement isn't the best job for me. I'll stick to passing the buckets.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
My day.
Today. Today. Today.
In short, I'll tell you what I learned today, and then you can read the longer part if you wish.
1. Miracles do happen. People can be down with a stroke and revive. People who are blind can cook 7 course meals. People who seem like they can knock you on your butt in seconds will smile at you and make your heart melt. Boyfriends who have no idea how to support you, will.
2. I need to process things before I talk. I can't stand it when people try and force you to talk. Mainly when I don't really know you. But if I want to tell you, I will. Promise.
3. I can still be the calm person in almost any given situation, even when I'm dying inside.
4. Sometimes, I just don't want people to touch me.
I left for a field trip to the Iowa Department for the Blind and Ruby Van Meter school at 8:00AM. After loading the van and taking off, I got a phone call saying my Grandma had a stroke. A pretty severe stroke. I couldn't do anything about it, and decided to keep my mind pre-occupied. And my, was it a busy day!
The Iowa Department for the Blind was wonderful. They actually left sighted people go there and live like a blind person! They offer woodworking for confidence skills. I saw a blind man building a dresser! How stinking awesome! As a final assessment for the home/living course they have to cook a seven course meal! I think about my own life, and wonder how many of us can do that?!
We left and went to eat lunch at the Ruby Van Meter School. I didn't really know what to expect. We walked into the lunch room and Dani and I were partnered with a teacher. Judy, has four twenty year old males in her room. They are non-verbal and very aggressive. I was spit on, hit, and nearly stabbed with a pencil. I was smiled at, laughed with and even kissed. It was blissful in a bitter state. I have never had my mind rush through so many thoughts at once.
In short, I'll tell you what I learned today, and then you can read the longer part if you wish.
1. Miracles do happen. People can be down with a stroke and revive. People who are blind can cook 7 course meals. People who seem like they can knock you on your butt in seconds will smile at you and make your heart melt. Boyfriends who have no idea how to support you, will.
2. I need to process things before I talk. I can't stand it when people try and force you to talk. Mainly when I don't really know you. But if I want to tell you, I will. Promise.
3. I can still be the calm person in almost any given situation, even when I'm dying inside.
4. Sometimes, I just don't want people to touch me.
I left for a field trip to the Iowa Department for the Blind and Ruby Van Meter school at 8:00AM. After loading the van and taking off, I got a phone call saying my Grandma had a stroke. A pretty severe stroke. I couldn't do anything about it, and decided to keep my mind pre-occupied. And my, was it a busy day!
The Iowa Department for the Blind was wonderful. They actually left sighted people go there and live like a blind person! They offer woodworking for confidence skills. I saw a blind man building a dresser! How stinking awesome! As a final assessment for the home/living course they have to cook a seven course meal! I think about my own life, and wonder how many of us can do that?!
We left and went to eat lunch at the Ruby Van Meter School. I didn't really know what to expect. We walked into the lunch room and Dani and I were partnered with a teacher. Judy, has four twenty year old males in her room. They are non-verbal and very aggressive. I was spit on, hit, and nearly stabbed with a pencil. I was smiled at, laughed with and even kissed. It was blissful in a bitter state. I have never had my mind rush through so many thoughts at once.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Mr. Boyfriend and Mr. Not Boyfriend
So.. lots of people have been asking, "Why are you always with those two boys?"
My response: "Well, one is my boyfriend. And the other is my not-boyfriend."
The not-boyfriend is such an awesome friend. You are there for friends even when you are at wits end with your own life stresses. You make me laugh and feel like I'm actually a pretty decent person. You are so easy to spill my guts to, and constructive.
As for the boyfriend... he's pretty awesome too. I can't think of an unhappy moment together in the past month. We are still at that stage where everything is cheesy and adorable. It's strange. I told him "I can't wait until the day you don't make me happy." .. I didn't mean for it to sound terrible, but it was too hard to explain what I was thinking.
My response: "Well, one is my boyfriend. And the other is my not-boyfriend."
The not-boyfriend is such an awesome friend. You are there for friends even when you are at wits end with your own life stresses. You make me laugh and feel like I'm actually a pretty decent person. You are so easy to spill my guts to, and constructive.
As for the boyfriend... he's pretty awesome too. I can't think of an unhappy moment together in the past month. We are still at that stage where everything is cheesy and adorable. It's strange. I told him "I can't wait until the day you don't make me happy." .. I didn't mean for it to sound terrible, but it was too hard to explain what I was thinking.
mouthful mondays
1. Older males should not make advances on younger ladies. It's terribly awkward, and they would never be successful.
2. People who aren't willing to take action, shouldn't complain. If you think something should change, make the effort to change it at stop your whining.
3. My friends/boyfriends are awesome. I have the best group of people to spend time with. I have been really happy with Grant, and other people are happy for me. (this sort of needs a separate post)
4. Don't judge peoples' lives. God didn't create us to be so dang judgmental. If you think someone needs to be confronted, try and be in their shoes first.
2. People who aren't willing to take action, shouldn't complain. If you think something should change, make the effort to change it at stop your whining.
3. My friends/boyfriends are awesome. I have the best group of people to spend time with. I have been really happy with Grant, and other people are happy for me. (this sort of needs a separate post)
4. Don't judge peoples' lives. God didn't create us to be so dang judgmental. If you think someone needs to be confronted, try and be in their shoes first.
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