Relationship Rant

To whomever needs to hear this:

Please, for the life of me, stop worrying about my relationship status. If I am in a relationship, I will tell you. If you are a close friend, and I care about your opinion, I will ask you. I'm not planning or not planning on being in a relationship in the near future. You asking me all the time just makes me want to run away and get married in Vegas.

For the record, I'm not in a relationship. I don't have my life figured out, and I won't make other people suffer for my confusing life plans.

being happy.

The follow things make me happy:

1) Talking about life with friends

2) Sitting in my room alone doing NOTHING

3) Praying, meditating, whatever you call it.

4) Making others happy.

Looking into number 4, there's a problem. I know how to make lots of people happy, which makes me happy. In return, that confuses the HECK out of me. I don't need to hear that I am a good girl friend, or that we are "super compatible." Everyone can say that.

independence.

In a conversation with my mother, we determined there is a lesser of two evils when it comes to "training your daughter" with relationships.

1: Teach them to be dependent and fall in love easily..

2: Teach them to be defensive. Teach them to guard their heart and always be cautious.

I think I fall under number 2. I've seen how relationships fail time and time again. I get nervous, I react in ways I wouldn't normally act.

life.

For some reason, I have been super stressed recently about absolutely nothing. I just feel like I need to take a break away from people, which is odd because I usually need people.

I'm sick of fake connections with people. I'm sick of life being abstract. I'm sick of not having real friendships and it being too late to pick things up again. I'm sick of being in a terrible mood for no reason. I'm sick of not being able to focus.

I love the people who are putting their worries down to care about me, but at the same time, I just want to figure out my own stuff. I struggle to be independent so much that I end up shutting myself down from the world.

man crushes

To be honest and vulgar, many "people" seem to have adopted these strange "crushes" on me.

Prime Example: Today at work, a boy came up and put a sticker on my shirt. He was putting the sticker on "the boob region," and it wasn't sticking.. He kept trying to stick it, and it wasn't working. His dad walked in and was rather confused. After my sticker was stuck, the boy put a sticker on another girls shirt.. this time on the bottom of the shirt. Here's the conversation:

Dad: "yeah, that's a good spot for that sticker."
Boy: "yeah, there's too much glitter on the top part."

I guess I need some glitter shirts.

So, five year olds are crushing on me. Don't read into this blog at all, it was totally unintentional and it's just plain funny.

focused

I am not a PROCRASTINATOR, just not too keen on staying FOCUSED.

Organization.