Communication

In both my personal life and my professional life as a Teaching Assistant for Human Development across the Life-Span, relationship health has been a major topic of discussion. Couples. Husbands and Wives. Friends. All of the interactions we have on a daily basis.

Research shows how unhealthy it is to bottle up our emotions. We talk about how to communicate our anger from a very young age. We teach children how to say "I feel sad when you call me mean names because it hurts my feelings." Instead of saying "You are a jerk!" Research shows that these statements, known as I-statements, are more effective in healthy relationship development. Partners can communicate, "You never take me on dates anymore," more effectively by saying, "I feel like we aren't spending as much quality time together anymore." 

We talk about the importance of not bottling up our feelings because it's not healthy and can often cause an unhealthy eruption, as well as lead to adverse health effects. Primarily, these feelings are noted as being anger, frustration or other negative feelings that need to escape our hearts.

One I-statement personally overlooked, held-back and bottled up in my own life is an important one that is too often forgotten.

I love you.

It's awkward. Uncomfortable. Maybe a little disappointing if we are expecting a similar response that doesn't come. The dictionary definition of  love is an intense feeling of deep affection. That's a pretty abstract, relative, ambiguous, and subjective feeling. However, just like it's not healthy to bottle up our anger, it's also not healthy to bottle up our love. If you have been thinking for days, months, weeks, years, eons... that you could be in love with someone. Let them know. Give them that I-statement, without expecting a response. Get it off your chest.

Always,

Ashley